China’s Marriage Crisis: 5000 Divorces a Day!

China’s Marriage Crisis: 5000 Divorces a Day!
Jun 30, 2011 By eChinacities.com

Editor’s note: This is an edited and translated version of an article posted on the Chinese site gcpnews.com. The article is discussing the disturbing new figures from the Chinese Statistical Bureau regarding the number of divorces in China. The divorce rate has continually been on the rise and now stands at 14.6% with over 4.5 million divorces in 2010 alone. The reasons behind these numbers are discussed in the article.

The sky rocketing divorce rate among Chinese couples have long been a hotly debated topic in China. Whether the reason for the continuous rise of divorces is due to people’s busy working lives, rampant materialism or even infidelity, the numbers from the recently published national divorce statistics speak volumes. In the first quarter of this year the statistics say that no less than 460,000 couples were divorced in China, which adds up to an average of 5000 couples a day. This is very much a growing trend as we can see from the fact that the numbers for this year are up 17% compared to same period last year, continuing the trend of rising divorce rates over the last seven years.

Experts believe that the high divorce rates are to be blamed on the fast paced life prevalent in the major Chinese cities, changing values and the relative ease with which it has been made possible to obtain a divorce.

High pressure leads to divorces

With the numbers of divorced couples on a yearly basis rising from 3.56 million in 2008 to 4.04 million in 2009 and from 4.51 million in 2010 to a divorce rate presently at 14.6%, we may gain better insight into some of the reasons fuelling this trend by looking at one individual case.

31 year old Zhao Chen is one of the many women involved in a divorce case. Here she tells her story, “I was introduced to my ex husband by some friends. When we were dating we seemed to have a good chemistry, but it was only after marriage that I found out that he actually had a really bad temper. If I didn’t come to him right after he called he would get angry and start throwing things around. After we bought our apartment, his mom and dad moved in, which only worsened the situation. Soon after he started to return home later and later, which at last ended up in us filing for a divorce.” Zhao Chen acknowledges to the journalist that, “A divorce is no different than a war! I had to take him to court three times to clarify the ownership of our apartment; at the end there were absolutely no feelings left.”

Many Chinese, especially women, face great pressure from their parents to get married when they approach the age of 30. Many people, especially the parent generation, consider 30 be the absolute deadline for women to get married, and thus the pressure mounts as the years pass. This pressure may lead many women to accept marrying a man whom they, like Miss Zhao, only got to know through pre-arranged introductions by parents or friends. Another dilemma that these women often have to face is that of becoming a “left over woman” or “shengnu” in Chinese. A “left over woman” is a woman in her early thirties who has a good career but can’t get married because most Chinese men think that she is too old and successful to be a good wife.

A woman in this situation will normally face an incredible amount of pressure from her parents to find a husband. It is very easy to imagine how many women in these circumstances might make a choice they will eventually come to regret. “Left over women” has become something of a buzzword recently in China, probably in part due to a new attitude among Chinese women to focus on their career first and push settling down to the backburner.

Not surprisingly, the highest divorce rates are found in China’s two biggest cities:  Beijing and Shanghai, with 20.6% and 23.9% respectively.

Looking for the root of the problem

Professor Gu Xiaoming believes that the major reason for people to choose a divorce is because the love has fizzled out; but the questions that needs to be asked however is why is it so hard for modern people to maintain a loving relationship? Professor Xiaoming believes that the root of the problem is that money has become the benchmark of success in life. People are focusing their main attention on work and increasing their salary, even those who already enjoy successful careers. In the process of doing this, people are often forgetting to maintain a close and intimate relationship with their partners. This, he argues, is definitely the biggest reason behind the soaring divorce rates. The degree to which money and material possessions has become the focal point in the lives of Chinese people can be seen all too clearly in the common saying, “You cannot be married if you don’t have an apartment and a car”.

Professor Yu Hai from Fudan University in Shanghai on the other hand argues that it is the erosion of morals that are the greatest threat to the Chinese family. He laments that many people do not see it as a problem to have a lover or keeping a mistress, but even look upon it as a symbol of success.

In the generations past, it was normal for a Chinese couple to stay together for reasons of need rather than reasons of love. The relationship between parents and their children was the one that mattered and many couples held together simply out of need. However, this has of course changed immensely during the course of the country’s economic development. Today the focus has changed and mutual love is fast becoming the most important reason to stay together or to divorce.

How to overcome the problem

Professor Yu Hai says, “Seen from a material angle, the losses from a divorce might not be that big. However, from a broader perspective the consequences of a divorce are too grave especially for families with children. A divorce might have a negative influence on the healthy development of the child’s personality as well as its attitude towards love and the family”.

To minimize the chances of a divorce it is also very important to try and develop common interests as well as tolerance and understanding towards the other partner. 

Another very important issue to deal with, especially in our culture which puts a lot of emphasis on face, is to make sure that the spouse who earns more in the relationship is not being arrogant or having a bullish attitude about this. This is all the more important if the main breadwinner is a woman.

Perhaps, people just need to be reminded that every married couple will encounter turbulent times at one stage or another, but that “a happy marriage is not one without problems, but rather it is one where the partners excel at sorting out the problems in a good way.” 
 

Source: gcpnews.com
 

Related links
Lessons from Japan: Is China Also Sacrificing Happiness for Development?
4 Traits amongst Young Chinese Couples that Lead to Divorce
No House? No Wedding! How Potential In-Laws Can Ruin Relationships

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Keywords: divorce in china divorce rates China marriage crisis China

5 Comments

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woye

I think the rate of the divorce is high because people have no time to communicate. and the couple dont know devoting for each other. some are very selfish. also because too much pressure in this kind society. Love is also responsibility too.

Jul 01, 2011 01:12 Report Abuse

fritz

I found Chinese has a big problem regarding discussions about sex with friends or partners. Therefore i think they cant live out there fantasies or explore sex. Sex is a bond in the marriage and a pleasure for each other to enjoy, to give your partner a different feel of care..(not money). Its a pitty Chinese cant watch DVD`s on sex (yellow movies) and on sex aducation.
Sex is NOT tabu is the reson you here today. To men.... treat you partner with respect and love and discuss and help her to discuss woth you her needs to pleasure, you as a Chinese might only had one sex partner in your life... so learn form each other`s fantasies and experiance it. I am sure your marriage will last loneger and your stress levels will reduce.
For the woman… experience all and don’t be shy. Sex is not only meant for the man to enjoy.
I am not a advisor on this but know the problems this create in a marriage.

Jul 01, 2011 00:21 Report Abuse

Vert alert!

Look Noise-alighter! This is a moot point, it is obvious why there are so many divorces. The reasons for marriage in China have always been ECONOMIC, being arranged by the parents. Obviously with the introduction of capitalism the Chinese 'I' is rearing it's ugly head and little Princelings and Princesses have no idea of how to maintain a relationship. It's not all roses and candy bars it's about compromise and understanding two qualities which most Chinese people just do not possess, and have no interest in possessing! Couple that with the ridiculous gender ratio imbalance and the population will HOPEFULLY drastically decline!!

Jul 01, 2011 03:18 Report Abuse

Techezee

Once again you ahve showed your IQ and P*** size are about the same. Lower than the average size of a mosquito. This guy writes something legimate and you scrutinize like you're an expert. Why are you here? Why do you hate so much? Can people leave an impressive opinion without you bashing them. So many times I come on here to have a good conversation and I see your tag. I have been helping foreigners with legal problems for 4 years. I always run into some idiot like you. Let me guess, you hate your job but are to poor and can't get a real job in your home country. You don't have luck with love and you're tired of China but can't do anything else, so you hate on people, biased and culturally ignorant, you wish your hate on to others to try and overcome your bad experiences and low IQ by passing your negativity on to others. Get a real life and stop bothering people. Please tell me you're not from America, god I get tired of having to explain we're not all like you. Fake Degree, Fake Life, Fake Problems, please, please, please tell me your from some other country. Tear rolls down my eye, just another arrogant p***** with nothing better to do but try and bring people down

Jul 01, 2011 22:01 Report Abuse

Techezee

Sorry, my last post was not for Duke it was for the Neutralizer who surely is the disgruntled laowei who has a Fake Degree, or working illegaly, no chance for a real life or job, is upset about everything and brings it to the echinacities table every chance he gets. Duke, your post was fine, the idiot just dropped a bomb on your post. Ohh how I hoep he's not another American I have to defend, please let him be from somewhere else.

Jul 01, 2011 22:07 Report Abuse