Your time in China is coming to an end. You’re ready to pack up and head home, maybe your contract has ended or maybe you feel it’s time to settle back into native  life again. Whatever the reason, you haven’t given any thought to returning home because what’s there to think about? You know the language, the people, the culture, the food, the local community – it will all still be the same, right? Don’t speak too soon-there is an all too real phenomenon that affects expats; some more than others, and it is reverse culture shock. 

So what is reverse culture shock exactly?  Reverse culture shock is also known as re-entry shock and produces the same feelings as culture shock but in reverse – feelings of uncertainty and an inability to settle back in to a place you know that no longer feels like home. You feel a strange sense of displacement and can’t quite put your finger on what is bothering you. Often, the longer you have been away, the deeper these feelings are.

Photo: Alex Bellink

The stages of culture shock and reverse culture shock

To compare how similar both phenomena are, let’s take a look at the stages. Typically there are four identified stages of culture shock which are also true for reverse culture shock:

1) Honeymoon period
When arriving into a new culture everything seems exciting, wonderfully new, interesting. Everything is a novelty; people are kind towards and curious about you, you can’t wait to try local delicacies. The differences between your home culture and the new one are seen in a positive, romantic light and everything is fascinating.

In reverse,when you go home you can’t wait to see your family and friends. You are excited to visit your favorite places that you have missed, go to your favorite restaurants, eat your favorite foods and enjoy all of your home comforts again. 

2) Negotiation or “culture shock” phase
After the honeymoon period has worn off (the same way it does in relationships) you may begin to experience feelings of homesickness and frustration, wondering why you bothered to come here at all. You notice that things are more difficult than you first perceived them to be, the language barrier seems impossible to negotiate and feelings of loneliness may begin to creep in.

In reverse,you begin to experience feelings of reverse homesickness. You want to go back to the place that you were living in and have a feeling of disdain towards your own country. Whilst being abroad you have grown, adapted and changed substantially as a person and so the changes in your home country are often subtle. Relationships have changed and you may have less in common with those around you. Feelings of confusion usually creep in because we expect to suffer from culture shock when we arrive in a foreign land. We don’t expect to suffer the same upon returning to somewhere so familiar and so are unprepared for this.

3) Recovery phase
Around 6-12 months into your new life, everything begins to make sense and you gain a more comfortable footing: the language becomes easier, you understand the local customs and traditions; you make less social faux pas and begin to enjoy your new lifestyle as you settle into a routine.

In reverse,you begin to settle back into your old life and reconnect with those around you. Your relationships pick back up again and you have a settled routine, feeling more positive about your home country again, replacing the negative feelings.

4) Adjustment phase
Being in your new country now feels like home. You are settled, have a stable home and social life and can see yourself being here for a while. 

In reverse, this is called the ‘Reintegration Phase’. The feelings of dislike that you had about your home country no longer bother you and you no longer feel dissatisfied.

10 reverse culture shock challenges

According to Dr. Bruce La Brack at the University of the Pacific School of International Studies, there are 10 specific challenges that affect repatriates:

• Boredom
• No one wants to listen
• You can’t explain the problem
• Reverse homesickness
• Relationships have changed
• People see “wrong” changes
• People misunderstand you
• Feelings of alienation
• Inability to apply new knowledge and skills
• Loss/ compartmentalisation of experience  

It is important to note that these stages affect people very differently. Some have very stark feelings of disorientation, others only mildly and so the time frames attributed to reverse culture shock will change according to your own personal feelings. 

Things that will shock you when you return home

After living abroad, you may have picked up a number of habits and immersed yourself so fully in the culture that some of behaviour is now ingrained. So what things may surprise or shock us when leaving China and returning home?

1) Counting to 10 on one hand
No doubt about it, this is a custom found in China that we don’t do in the West.  As seen in the picture below, there are certain hand signals used to convey counting from 1-10 (note that ‘7’ and ‘10’ have two different signs depending on what part of the country you learn the numbers).  When you return home it feels so normal to have been doing this daily in China that everyday situations turn into some kind of miming pantomime. Go to a loud bar and can’t hear the price? Confirm it using your fingers. Go to the local corner shop for some household items. Confirm the price with your hands. It looks strange and often an explanation then ensues as to why you’re using your hands to count like a 5 year old!

Photo: waygoapp.com

2) Squat toilets
The joy at having ‘normal’ toilets thrust upon you again knows no bounds! Friends and relatives are simply unable to comprehend what it entails to use these dreadful facilities (unless of course they have visited the parts of Asia that use these themselves), which take a fair amount of time to get used to. Often they are no more than a hole in the ground with no flush and depending on the establishment that you’re in, may or may not be a gutter around a foot deep running the length of the cubicles, with the waste from neighboring cubicles running past you to a drain at the end. The excitement and feeling of being spoilt at having the availability of Western toilets at home makes you look slightly crazy.

3) Shouting for the waiter in a restaurant
Depending on how often you eat in Chinese restaurants there are a myriad of things here that may shock you when encountering this situation for the first time once back on home soil. The first is that the waiter will not hover, expecting you to select what you want to eat within 10 seconds of opening the menu. The second is that you will choose your own meal; it won’t be picked for you. Third – just one dish will suffice, not a mixture of many small plates. But the fourth, and possibly most important, is that the waiter will leave you alone to choose and after an appropriate amount of time will come back to take your order.

For those of us that took a very long time to get used to shouting “服务员!” (Fúwùyuán!) to garner the waiter’s attention, we know that this is a complete social faux pas at home yet after wholeheartedly embracing this slightly rude habit, it will be a difficulty not to loudly shout “Waiter!” at every available opportunity and instead sit quietly waiting to catch his or her eye.

4) Fresh Air
The small yet immeasurable happiness at seeing cloudless, blue skies and clear, starry nights once we leave China will be a huge surprise. As we are aware, the pollution levels here are at dangerous proportions with many people opting not to spend a great deal of time outdoors due to poor air quality. After spending such a long time in this country, we forget just how crystal clear the sky can be.

To put this into perspective, if we compare levels elsewhere we can see just how smoggy China actually is. For example, on Tuesday September 16 2014 at 15.00, the Air Quality Index in Beijing read at 158 – Unhealthy, whilst in Shenzhen it was 161 – Unhealthy. If we compare this to some cities in Europe (Norwich, UK – 7) (Dundee, Scotland – 17) (Copenhagen, Denmark – 35) (Ennis, Ireland – 0) we can see that our elation at breathing clean air is not ludicrous.

5) Queuing
The indescribable feeling of going to the supermarket in your home country and seeing everybody quietly queuing, without elbowing their way in, is one of utter glee. Similarly, queuing (or lack thereof) for the elevator is something I won’t miss, but on the occasions I have returned home the pleasure at seeing people wait until the elevator has emptied before getting into it themselves is one that is difficult to describe to others who haven’t lived and breathed it.

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Keywords: return home from China leaving China reverse culture shock