To Go or Not To Go: Lifespan of Foreigners in China

To Go or Not To Go: Lifespan of Foreigners in China
Jul 01, 2015 By Jefferson Mendoza , eChinacities.com

A return to one’s home country after living in China for several years can be daunting, yet it’s a chance to start a new chapter in one’s life. Those who’ve made the leap have spoken of their return to school, to finding stability in jobs or even creating their own business – all within the vicinity of their families and friends.

Wing
Are you coming or going? Photo: Melinda

According to the sixth national census of the People’s Republic of China published in 2010, 593, 832 foreign nationals have made China their new adopted country. North Korea, the United States and Japan are the nations with the highest numbers of expatriates in the country.

Creating a life on Chinese grounds for an extended period of time, despite being the second largest economy in the world, has not enticed some expats to stay put. Many have encountered ‘tell tale’ signs that prompted them to leave. Below are just some experiences that expatriates have had during their sojourn in Asia and their stories might give you an insight into how to better prepare yourself when that voice inside of you says, “Is it time for me to pack up?”

Knowing that you’ve entered the “saturated” zone

American expat Renee McKie realized it was timed to go the moments some things weren’t moving forward for her anymore. After living in Guangzhou for over two and half years, she felt: “the feelings that you had when you arrived are no longer there, it becomes increasingly difficult to laugh things off.”

During her tenure at an English language institute, cultural differences widened during the months leading to her departure. Disagreements, a lack of enthusiasm in class and her skin getting worse due to the environment were ‘clues’ for her to think about moving home. McKie now lives in Istanbul, Turkey.

Others, like Panamanian expat Koko Law, speak of the homesickness that started to kick in. He too lived in China for over two years and despite surrounding himself with locals and foreigners, as they became his extended family, factors like “learning to adapt, the distance between you and your loved ones, the longing for home, and the food that you miss and can’t find in China” were what led to his departure. Law, who is of Chinese-descent, came to Guangdong to learn about his cultural roots, but he found no connection with his parents’ background. Law is now living in Texas, USA.

In March 2014, new regulations regarding awarding permanent residency, or the Chinese Green Card, to expatriates was mentioned in a press conference in Beijing. However, the willingness for an expat to assimilate to an Asian culture – the good and the bad – is not for everybody.

“Little things started to irritate me, like simple miscommunications or things that I felt were “wrong” with the culture. [It] became too much for me to just accept, especially with children and the pressure to succeed,” says Gavin Canning who spent two years in Asia as a child educator. “I didn’t want to leave the country with a bad taste in my mouth.” These days, aside from working at a bakery and teaching art class in Toronto, Canada, Canning recently launched an online jewelry line – handmade wearable paper art.

If given the opportunity

Before making the leap permanently, McKie and Law wished they had travelled more in China. “China, in addition to its people, has lots of beautiful places to visit. I regret not visiting them before I left,” Law says. “Get in touch with the people you meet because we never know where the future will take us.” Law is currently waiting for a response to his application to a university in Germany to pursue his post-secondary degree in Business.

For Canning, who initially had set his mind on becoming a volunteer in a developing country, working and living in Asia was not his first choice. In due time, this opportunity had allowed him to immerse into the culture – although only partially.

“You are never fully accepted into the culture.  There are things you will never get to experience no matter how hard you want to, you will always be an outsider.  Communication barriers really suck too, but there is a lot you can get by on by pantomiming and being open.” For the most part, Canning regrets not getting a better grip on the language when he leaves a country.

Post-China

There are those who live in China for over 10 years and have made the country their permanent home by owning a business, marrying and raising a family; however, others don’t find a connection to its people, as is the case for Law and McKie. “When I realized that I’d soaked up everything I wanted, that’s when I realized that China had nothing more to offer me,” says Law.

For McKie and Canning who’ve been away from the East for two years now, time has allowed them to reflect on their experiences at a deeper level. “Go with an open mind and open heart.  Try hard not to compare your culture to the host country you are living in. Find the beauty in coming from different places.” Canning says. “You will have more in common with people in other countries than you have differences.  If you are too comfortable, you aren’t learning. Push yourself to do what scares you.”

Asked about her desire to return to the United States anytime soon, McKie remains unsure. “Personally, I've continued my personal progression by keeping up the good things that I started in China. Just be ready for anything because you never know what you will see and/or hear,” McKie says.

Subtle clues like the ones mentioned above can make any expat in China start to ponder whether they’re in it for the long haul or if it’s only temporary. The desire to return to your home country can occur quickly or slowly. Whether you like it or not, living overseas changes an expat if he or she allows it to happen.

Warning:The use of any news and articles published on eChinacities.com without written permission from eChinacities.com constitutes copyright infringement, and legal action can be taken.

Keywords: Foreigner in China

40 Comments

All comments are subject to moderation by eChinacities.com staff. Because we wish to encourage healthy and productive dialogue we ask that all comments remain polite, free of profanity or name calling, and relevant to the original post and subsequent discussion. Comments will not be deleted because of the viewpoints they express, only if the mode of expression itself is inappropriate.

Guest974448

Shoot reading these comments has really put me off working in China.

Jul 17, 2015 21:14 Report Abuse

q8chine

  (3)(0) exploitation of desperation

Jul 12, 2015 03:25 Report Abuse

q8chine

So you honestly believe that we married folks should work on a Q visa? yes yes I know many do and I hope they never do get caught, so my question is what will happen if they get caught?

Jul 08, 2015 18:41 Report Abuse

Guest2605606

I have been in China for a little under 2 years. I would have left this country a long time ago if I didn't find the love of my life here. First year was great, I literally partied everyday and could save money at the same time, I thought the people were great. After the first year things began to irritate me about the culture, lack of consideration, face and all that shit. I was ready to leave but 2 months before I left I fell in love with a Chinese girl. Now I am here beginning to accept the culture more and more (But I'll never fully accept it, I am just passive about it). I hope one day I can go back or elsewhere, but that will be in like 3 to 10 years time.

Jul 04, 2015 12:51 Report Abuse

acadet06

I believe if you remain in a place where there are no more opportunities (professionally and personally), you miss home, and cannot really blend into the culture, its time to move on. I am preparing to make my move to China this fall to Teach English, and I hope to learn Mandarin and take advantage of opportunities, but I know that I want to only spend a few years there before I look for other opportunities.

Jul 03, 2015 17:35 Report Abuse

ironman510

There are a lot of things that bother us out here in China, but There were tons of things that also bothered me back home. I love Shenzhen, China, I found my life here and family here. I'm staying here..I have no intention to run back to the newly gay America. I would actually be willing to accept a Chinese passport or Green card.. I haven't been back home to the U.S in 15 years. I can actually say I'm really happy. Yes the BS is none stop but doesn't every country have some kind of BS to deal with?

Jul 02, 2015 08:59 Report Abuse

Guest2781358

Still in the "happy I don't have to shower that often" stage

Jul 02, 2015 02:21 Report Abuse

Guest2709144

My life is super normal here.

Jul 01, 2015 11:11 Report Abuse

RobRocks

still here(my 15th year now)I have my good days and shitty days,having a family makes living here better,my wife is Chinese my son is half Kiwi half Chinese. I feel also that I have been here way to long to go back home.starting again at my age would be expensive. I get up go to work go to the gym then go home,I just do normal stuff like I would back in NZ.

Jul 01, 2015 08:09 Report Abuse

Guest2781358

This article brought out some strong feelings in the comments

Jul 01, 2015 06:17 Report Abuse

Trebek

Jay Knox, although you raise some interesting points in your highjack of this thread of comments. I must object to your use of the word "Sub Human", when describing another race. Talk like that merely exposes your hidden racist agenda. I can't imagine why tools like you even stay here?

May 12, 2014 09:15 Report Abuse

Trebek

Ok your racism is "unhidden". And for it to be an "agenda", you would be hiding your racism. I get what your saying.

May 13, 2014 11:38 Report Abuse

Trebek

Jay, you clearly referred to the Chinese as "Sub-Human", the only others I can remember using that term to describe an entire race are the Nazis and the KKK. Guest..I get your point, many ignorant bigoted Chinese do exist. But Jay should know better.

May 14, 2014 10:00 Report Abuse

Guest2368048

To be fair, JayKnox said, "I've sincerely been forced to question if some of the locals weren't actually a kind of 'sub-human' based on their behavior" (post dated May 8, 2014 13:39). He specifically stated that he was referring to SOME of the chinese (among those living in China). If he had said all Chinese, it would include places like Taiwan, Singapore, USA....etc. What he said therefore wasn't racism which as you correctly pointed out, referred to an entire race.

May 14, 2014 19:22 Report Abuse

WCG

Ha, that's funny! "brainwashed narcissists", I think you just described pretty much China! Don't forget arrogant, self-centered, rude, obnoxious, oh and racist bigots!

May 11, 2014 17:39 Report Abuse

Guest2630262

@ WCG: This sounds like a lot of Americans too. js.

May 31, 2014 22:29 Report Abuse

Torchier

When does an expat know enough is enough and can that progression be expressed in yearly increments? I think it depends on the stage of life of the expat and what motivated this person to come to China. Perhaps if you are in your 20s or 30s the above patterns may fit. Using western values and psychological descriptors may be appropriate for expats but might not easily transpose to Chinese culture. I lived in the expat bubble working for an international school for two years, and transferred to Chinese universities for ten years. It has been a total immersion experience. I think I overstayed by one year. When I lost a key course I had been assured I would get and it happened a second time, my professional commitment was undermined and I made the firm decision that this year was the last. The teacher who replaced me in that course lasted the two months of the term and left. I have seen younger instructors trying to sleep with as many of their students as possible. Their difference in age is probably 4-5 years. I've seen older men finance grad students, assisting them to get their MA, but insisting on a quid pro quo for this help. Another older fellow spent all of his free time on his computer, eating his meals there and throwing the refuse on the floor behind him so it built up into a considerable pile of rubbish. A younger man fought with his Chinese girlfriend so often the apartment was discovered severely damaged after his dismissal. I saw Chinese police walk away from accidents under dispute that held up traffic for hours. Dead bodies on the highway were viewed by the crowd that gathered as road kill. I met a businessman who had over 100,000 rmb stolen by his partner out of their joint account and the bank had no explanation. A middle-aged teacher whose wife just had a baby had a heart attack and died when his Chinese partner pulled out of their joint venture. I watched a late model car driven by a Chinese faculty member who roared out of the parking exit into a two lane street and almost hit a woman broadside on a bike and avoided a head on with a second woman on a motorcycle. This driver's vision was obstructed by the school's Mercedes bus parked close to this exit. These drivers feel entitled to enter streets in a manner I would consider reckless. What will I do? I intend to place a sign at this exit urging drivers to use caution (I will pay for this sign myself). How long the guards in the shack will leave it up is a good question.For two years I observed felt penned ads by persons who would write papers or sit exams for students for a fee. finally I cleaned up 17 of these bathrooms with paint remover, putty knife and a chisel and was assisted at times by students. The school said nothing and neither did I. I think the behaviors above could be labeled entitlement, selfish, narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, or sociopath, depending on the observer's ability to use these psychological labels correctly.However, the cumulative effect on the expat could be as demoralizing and destructive as pointed out above, or not. Tolerance is something a visitor to another culture can learn, but it does not mean agreement with what is going on. When that person violates his own values or code of ethics to blend in, then he has crossed a line regardless of what is going on around him. If a person has spiritual practices or reflects in a journal or meditation about his actions, it is more likely he or she will not self-destruct as an alien in a foreign culture. Success may be achieved through the "art of the possible". Try standing in that one meter space the bus leaves at the curb and stare down those cyclists who want to drive through the passengers entering or leaving the bus - they will stop. Make that student who plagiarizes redo the assignment. I had to reassess the dissatisfaction with relationships and come to a decision based on several factors why it would not work for me with a Chinese woman. I get inexplicable skin rashes reoccurring that creams don't fix. I want to be able to afford to drive a second hand car. I had 10 of the most exciting years of my life here in China, but it is time to close this chapter and move on. I'm diving off a cliff, but that's the way it is.

May 09, 2014 01:48 Report Abuse

WCG

Thank you. I was assessing my comment, then I read yours. I think you hit the truth, and I wish I had seen it earlier. The true answer to this question is simple, "Have you abandoned your own principles and morals?" If yes, then I think it is time to return home. Reset your life, and if you decide to return someday, then perhaps you will have more strength the second time around. Losing yourself in China, I believe, is not a weakness or a sign of a weak spiritual path. Everyone is at a different stage in life, and to blame another expat for losing himself in China is like blaming a child for touching a hot stove for the first time. Ha! Anyone who blames another for losing themselves in China, is just as, if not more spiritually lost as the person they are blaming. I need to go home, because I am spiritually unhealthy. I need to reset, hug my family, spend time with my brothers, breathe in the silence, and get back to who I was when I first entered China. But when I return, it will be different in one aspect. Upon my return to China, I will be aware of the dangers of losing myself. I will be more prepared to accept the challenges of living amongst the apathy and amoral behavior, but I will know what the enemy is, (it's not people, but it's the process of walking among them). China has made me stronger, and that is the only truth I need to know right now. Edit: I wanted to add, if I'm truly honest with myself, then I must admit that I am truly amazed with some, not all and certainly not the majority, but some Chinese people. Despite being raised in a country with very little spiritual aptitude or moral fiber, some Chinese people still possess a higher than normal spirituality. I am blessed with such a wife and a mother-in-law. Which is totally irregular here, sometimes even unheard of. I am truly thankful for that. I've made a lot of poor decisions in China, but marrying into such a family was truly a gift from a higher power. I am lucky. They're by no means wealthy or materialistic, they're actually real f*cking people, and that amazes me in this country. "The poor are truly the blessed ones." The irony of life. It's good to be alive today. Hope you all can enjoy at least a small moment today, even if it is just a cup of coffee and a cigarette while listening to that f*cking rooster out your window.

May 09, 2014 12:11 Report Abuse

WCG

Damn, i agree with jayknox. I was good for about the first year, then i started developing some health probs. China is not good for the mind or body. I hate this place, so we are in the process of migrating home to clean water and blue sky. Umm, yeah, f*ck this place. Girls are nice to look at during the summer, but i don't see much more that i actually look forward to doing here. kind of depressing to think about actually.

May 09, 2014 00:42 Report Abuse

suzannekfreeman

I did 12+ years. We didn't want to leave but, found a job elsewhere. The things that finally convinced me that leaving China was necessary were: not being able to feel completely accepted into the community, always feeling a little like an exotic animal (especially my kids); realizing that the changes in the country that were taking place were not very positive, were very superficial (lipstick on a pig), many people were making money but weren't improving on the inside; and finally, my kid's health and well being (they were in local school, bilingual, born in China, but seen as curiosities and treated like golden gods). After so long living in China, I only had one real Chinese friend. For the rest I was just window dressing. We live in Malaysia now and the differences in how we are perceived and treated here are very dramatic and that's what made me realize what I had left behind in China. I feel accepted, like I belong and am part of the community here in Malaysia. we live more like we would in England or the states. We have a car and a dog. However, I miss China. I miss the daily challenges, it's super easy here. I miss my lifer expat friends. I miss my kids speaking Chinese every day. I miss speaking Chinese. I miss the crazy city. Now I live in a small village on Penang. We may go back some day. The money is better there.

May 08, 2014 05:48 Report Abuse

syoung108

You create the world you're living in. The Chinese are just the people who YOU'VE chosen to be around. If this isn't working for you, leave. Go to that nirvanic, idyllic dreamland in your head. Stop bitching about the Chinese. China is actually changing so fast, at least in Shenzhen, that it's a bit dizzying. If you don't like the people, the food, the language and the jobs, goodbye. Otherwise, you are where you are. YOu can make it suck or make it work. Or you can get the hell out of Dongguan and go to one of the other 200 countries on this big ball of dirt. McDonalds is always hiring somewhere.

May 08, 2014 00:22 Report Abuse

Guest503002

Wow JayKnow, you really seem to be an "expert" on what most people do and don't do when leaving China. Also, do you have a background in Psychology or are you just projecting your own bitterness onto everyone else? Finally, maybe you can do something more productive with your life then posting several comments on a website related to a country you obviously don't like? Just some thoughts for you "Mr. Expert."

May 08, 2014 10:42 Report Abuse

tomcatflyer

I have been here for three years now and will probably be here for another two or three. However I do get back home for about ten weeks each year so I do get a break. We(my wife and I)know we would not stay here forever. Since coming here I have gone from just accepting all the differences as being part of the adventure to going through my angry faze at wondering why nothing works properly or gets done sensibly. I still don't really understand why some of the systems are so damn stupid but I have leveled off as accepting it but knowing it is not going to change anytime soon. the reasons why we will leave are pollution, the stupid pricing of some things, the childish attitude of believing more money makes you a better person, and the fact that even if I am here for another forty years I will never be anything other than a foreigner.

May 07, 2014 18:12 Report Abuse

Guest664282

The main characters of this article are loosers with their stupid comments about time being in China. I'm here for 5 years and feel great without any western/european surrounding. Go away , teachers of chinese kindergardens.

May 07, 2014 17:49 Report Abuse

dkappy

I mean, you're clearly a lunatic-type recluse, but the 13 down votes just go to show how many sad, pissed off, kindergarten teachers are really lurking on echinacities. In my experience, they ARE usually losers seeing as the minimal prerequisite is "native english speaker".

Jul 03, 2015 06:45 Report Abuse