Whenever I listen to Katy Perry's song, "Wide Awake", there are a few lines that hit close to home. "I wish I knew then what I know now; wouldn't dive in, wouldn't bow down".  Is she talking about China? She wouldn't dive into a deliciously stir-fried dish swimming in recycled oil? She wouldn't bow down to another unprofessional boss at her irksome teaching job? She goes on to say, "Gravity hurts, you made it so sweet, until I woke up, on the concrete". Was this after a night of drinking illegitimate liquor? The green tea mixer does make it sweet…and it's hard telling where you'll wake up the next morning; or in what condition. Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Katy Perry lyrics aside, there are a lot of things I didn't know when I first touched down in China, but that I've definitely figured out along the way. When I first moved here, I had no idea what this place would be like (and I packed accordingly). Some years later, I've had many realizations that have definitely impacted my lifestyle here. Whether you're brand new to China or an expat veteran, lend me an ear while I share a few of my realizations. I'd love hearing yours as well. Let's learn from each other's experiences.

1) Efficiently studying Chinese

I don't think there's really an "easy" way to study Chinese, but after spending some time and money, I've definitely found my personal preference. From online study to private tutoring, self-study to enrolling in a university, I've tried them all. And in fact, they're all effective, but my plan requires efficiency.  This is why I'm an advocate of targeted, private tutoring supplemented with good old-fashioned self-study. It's rather inexpensive to hire a private tutor and they will design the class to meet your personal needs. Though my experience studying at a Chinese university was effective, as it should given the daily three hour investment, there were definitely some downfalls. I felt that the content was too generic, the class didn't afford me the speaking practice I so desperately need, and it was simply too time-consuming for the overall benefit I received. I also found it to be a gamble between finding a teacher who actually has a passion for teaching and one whose ulterior motive is finding a foreign lover, but that's beside the point. For me, investing in a private tutor has proven to be most effective in building my skills within a limited amount of time. That being said, every individual learns in a different manner, and what doesn't work for one can work quite well for another.        

2) Escaping the teaching rut

It's amazing how long it took me to realize that I can, in fact, live in China without teaching English. My point here is not to discredit the teaching profession; I think there are a lot of great ESL teachers who are very successful at what they do. But I am not one of them. I came to China with other aspirations, but the challenge for me was figuring out how to pursue them. Teaching jobs are everywhere, the salaries are rather high, and the schedule's not bad either. How do you turn that down? Well, you have to be realistic and ask yourself what the long-term advantage is, short-term benefits aside. Personally, I don't aspire to be a teacher or work in a related field, so the teaching jobs were just drawing me further and further away from my target. I decided to take a stand and commit to figuring out how to continue living in China without teaching English, but still making enough money to support myself and gain relevant experience. After job searching, networking, and interviewing, I found a great opportunity with a local start-up company that luckily didn't require fluency in Chinese. Although I'm making far less than in previous teaching positions, I am gaining priceless experience and I'm back on my path to personal success. Every now and then you have to step out of your comfort zone in order to step into new opportunities. 

3) Investing in a comfortable life

Early on, I always had a "temporary" frame of mind about living in China. I won't be here long, so I don't need to get too comfortable. I found myself reluctant to even invest in the most basic of necessities, for fear of over-committing to this glorious nation. As time went on, I realized that some minor investments could really improve the quality of my life here. For example, I toyed around with the idea of buying an oven for months. I finally decided to invest a mere 150 RMB in a run-of-the-mill toaster oven and let me tell you what! My life in China has never been better. Not only can I eat the delicious dishes that remind me of home, I can also share a part of my culture with those around me. Last Christmas, I prepared around 300 Christmas cookies in my little oven and shared them with my Chinese coworkers. Witnessing their curiosity and cheerfulness while tasting the sweet concoctions was an experience no money could buy. Sometimes, no matter how temporary a situation is, investing in comfort is money well spent. 

4) Handling negative opinions

Opposition from family members and friends was a significant obstacle I had to overcome when I decided to move to China. Everyone had an opinion: You have a good job, why leave it? Don't they eat dogs there? What about marriage? To many, it was a totally ridiculous decision and waste of time. To me, it was a fabulous decision and would be the adventure of a lifetime. Even after convincing them I was going regardless, it still wasn't easy. It didn't really get easy until I started truly believing in myself and what I'm doing here. Initially, I planned on a whimsical one-year rendezvous, but when it extended past that one year, I had to get serious. I had to come up with a solid case to argue for living in China, not only for the sake of my personal sanity, but also for the sake of my reputation. For some reason, moving abroad has some hippy/lazy/irresponsible stigma attached to it in the minds of some. At any rate, I made goals, I made progress, and I now have 100% support from my family and friends (at least the ones whose opinions matter).  Believe in yourself and others will follow suit.

5) Holding on to your health

When I first moved to China, I didn't even think twice about where that bottle of Chivas came from or what type of meat was stuffed into that juicy dumpling. I was all about the experiences and getting plenty of them. I was naïve; they wouldn't seriously reuse discarded oil, would they? How can this liquor be fake, it looks so real? There are a lot of health risks associated with living in China. The longer we're in China, the greater the impact these factors have on our lives and our bodies. I made a decision that I need to take these things seriously. I need to focus on getting proper nutrition and be more aware of what I'm putting into my body. I should go to Chinese doctors or dentists when necessary, no matter how reluctant I am. Instead of laughing at the people wearing face masks, I should probably do the same (though I still can't bring myself to do it). Your health is something that once it's taken away from you; it's not easy to get back. Don't let living in China be a cop-out for unhealthy behavior.

Perhaps my realizations are a great distance from yours, or perhaps they're one in the same. No matter what they are, we all learn things that make our lives easier than they were before; especially when it comes to living in China. I cringe thinking about the earlier me who packed silly amounts of luggage to haul to China only to find that I can buy pretty much all of those things here. Oh well. In the words of Alanis Morissette's 1995 smash hit, "you live, you learn".  

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