There was this girl I was dating whom I worked with in Nanjing. We got along pretty well but it never was very passionate. ..It almost seemed like she dated me for the sake of her job. It never became very physical..Just dates. Well, that Christmas, I was happy to have someone to spend Christmas with and bought her some nice gifts that were well thought out and planned on a nice evening for the two of us. I show up for our date and she very casually gives me her Christmas present to me...I open it up and it is this cheap, crappy looking clock with dried beans and pasta glued on it. I'm pretty shocked but I react politely. She tells me this story how it is her most cherished souvenir from her trip to Thailand (there's nothing about the clock that indicates it is Thai or from Thailand)....and I'm just thinking "This is a piece of crap" (even by Western standards of gift giving between intimates it is insulting)...I also notice that her gifts to our colleagues are more appropriate and specific to the likes of the person...I called her out on the Chinese symbolism of the piece: "You are giving me a clock? Isn't that a big insult in Chinese culture?"...She insists it isn't meant to to represent that..She insists I'm being silly and she's not that kind of person...but my read of her is that she's never going to be truthful (at least make up a pity story about how it is made by your poor relatives in the country)...I give her her gifts and she's genuinely happy and astonished I did so much for her...A few days later, I give the clock back to her, insisting it means more to her than to me...that, like she said, it's an important souvenir from her special trip and that it would never mean as much to me as it does to her..I also tell her it isn't my style (the thing is a cheap piece of crap...why the f8ck would anyone buy it?) and that I intend only to throw it out..She starts acting like she's horrified I'm giving acts her a clock!...She actually says, "Do you know what that means?"..I insist, it's not like that..I insist I just don't want to see her giving up something that holds such special memories for her and I leave it with her...I'd had it with chinese bullsh8t culture of trying to constantly slight and undermine people who are genuinely being nice to them..
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