It's not affectionate, you are right. Through my personal experience, the word in its simplest form basically means "the person who does not belong here." It depends on the user, the tone and the context etc. But on a neutral note it is like being constantly reminded 100 times a day that you are not from China. Not a great way to go about making foreigners feel welcome. You will notice that when THEY are being affectionate they will address you the same as other Chinese with "xian sheng" or "xiao jie"... or "wai guo peng you" to be nice and polite. They know the difference. Even the cab drivers, waitresses... they know.
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